Day 243 – Progress Report

Current Project: Memoir Status: In Progress Time Spent:  Writing: 15 hrs. Blogging: 3 hrs. Networking:  3 hrs. Reading: 11 hrs. Words: 762 Blogging is a chore lately. The pressure of my long project makes me resent writing anything else. Plus, writing is boring. There isn’t much I can say about the creative progress other than I sat down for a really long time again and thought really, really hard. It’s a battle everyday, this writing thing. It makes me feel like shit most days. You’re lucky if you get one brilliant sentence in a week that makes you think wow I can do this after all. This blog kinda makes me feel exposed too. This week was really hard on my writing life and personal life. I’m going through something that makes my writing...

Day 241 – Rejection! Rejection!

Rejected again! My short story has been officially rejected by Tin House. This is my second rejection letter for this piece. I’m kinda excited about it despite it being a form rejection. I’ve made a special folder for them in my gmail account so I can keep track of them like how Stephen King kept all his rejection letters tacked to his wall. Thankfully, I saw this video earlier in the week to remind me that rejection is par for the course and nothing personal. Cheers! Dear Zezelia, Thank you for sending us “Endship.” Thank you, also, for your patience in waiting to hear back from us. Unfortunately, we must pass at this time. Best of luck placing your work elsewhere. Sincerely, Tin House Editors ...

Day 240 – A Day in the Life

Today I wrote about 3 pages worth of material. Guess how much I’m keeping? Three sentences. Yeah. Why? Because I’m picky. Why am I picky? I have good taste. Ugh. Anyway, this process frustrates me to no end, but man it’s worth it when you get those 3 perfect sentences. An inch forward is better than no inch at all. Stop wearing your wishbone where your backbone ought to be. – Elizabeth Gilbert Prompt: Write about a tortoise.

Day 239 – Meditation

So I started meditating. I started a couple days go because, like I said before, this memoir stuff beats the crap out of you. There are days I really regret embarking on this particular piece for a project that needed to move so quickly. And yet, I can’t shake the feeling that this is story I need to write before anything else. It won’t leave me alone. Scenes and dialogue intrude on every moment of my life and everyday I’m scared to write it, scared I won’t do it justice. And there are days like yesterday that writing it drops me so low showing up here is unbearable. Last night I hardly slept, I got up several times to jot down scenes and memories that kept reeling in my head. They’re hard to wrangle sometimes, all the memories,...

Day 237 – Wild Abandon?

Memoir writing beats you up and since my pancreas has been attempting to kill me, I haven’t been able to turn to wine or cupcakes for comfort. I started taking a lot of magnesium, which helps with stress, but isn’t nearly as fun or social. Long walks in the early morning before it gets too hot help too. Anyway, I’m struggling with belief in myself. I show up. I put in the hours. I try hard. And yet most days I walk away with only a few good sentences. Occasionally, I’ll get a beautiful paragraph in one fell swoop, but that’s rare. It makes me feel like failure is inevitable. My piece is getting stronger everyday though. I write it from the most vulnerable places, but even this far in, I have yet to give myself over to this project. I...