Day 211 – Hope

Hope has been on my mind a lot lately. The hopes I had when this project began and the hopes I have for it now. The foolishness you feel when hope goes unfulfilled. Or maybe what I’m thinking about isn’t so much hope as expectations. Hope and expectations, what’s the difference? Is there one?

Today, I have hope that I’ll complete this project. I also have hope in the new treatment I’m embarking on. Hope that my body will no longer be at war with me. It’s strange, but my health issues have constipated every facet of my life. We’ve been at war, my body and me, for the duration of my adult life. A war I’ve largely been losing. I’ve had hope before, great hopes, when embarking on new treatments that benefited me in the short term, but didn’t quite get to the root of the problem. Each step brought me closer to the root and I think we’re finally closing in on a solution or damn near close anyway. For over a decade now, I’ve been experimenting with treatments. There were day, weeks even, that seemed hopeless, but all that time I never gave up completely. I sucked it up and did more research and tried again.

That’s the kind of hope and determination I’m developing toward writing despite the outcome of this project. I will finish it unless I end up dead or in a coma. Will it be successful in the eyes of others? I don’t know. Most likely not. Does it matter? I’m starting to think not.

Life’s under no obligation to give us what we expect. – Margaret Mitchell

Prompt:  Write about seeing a change is someone close to you.

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